I couldn’t hold it down! I was another person, I felt anger and scare running through my veins, I didn’t know what to do, I thought on asking for help, but the only one there was to help me was the same one just left me there, alone.
I’m not feeling well at all, my heart is beating so fast as if I was running from a thief! My hands are shaking and now it’s very difficult to write, I have got to erase a lot of times just in this couple of lines..
Why would she just leave me alone, knowing that I really need her, knowing that I’m able of doing any dumb thing, why? After all I’ve done for her.. now she leaves me alone and in my time of need.. now I’m devastated and I want to control it, but I just simply can’t.. I feel like somebody is writing these! But not me, someone full of other thoughts, bad thoughts, murder thoughts, I feel there’s an assassin in front this screen. What have I done or stopped doing to be left alone when I wasn’t even able of controlling myself, when have I done something similar? She isn’t normal, nobody is.. But this little one has been having some serious trouble and I’ve never gone when she needed it.. and now she just goes? Just like if everything’s fine.. I can’t get it.. I can’t!
It wasn’t even a minute after she left when I was already in the floor rolling and having breathing problems, I was scratching my legs as hard as I could, I think I’m bleeding.
“I'm sitting here alone in darkness
Waiting to be free,
Lonely and forlorn I'm crying
I long for my time to come
Death means just life
Please let me die in solitude
Hate is my only friend
Pain is my father
Torment is delight to me
Death is my sanctuary
I seek it with pleasure
Please let me die in solitudeReceive my sacrifice
My lifeblood is exhausted
No-one gave love and understanding
Hear these words
Vitrifiers and pretenders
Please let me die in solitude
Earth to earth
Ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
And please let me die in solitude”
Solitude
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